yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
