just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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