Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
