Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Green mimosas i think yes
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
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