Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
