She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
