White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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