Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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