Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
