he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
