The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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