let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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