Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
