Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
