Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Randomize
