I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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