Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
