So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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