Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
