So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
