This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
