I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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