considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
