Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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