we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the day after is always just damage control
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
