we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
