We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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