she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
