therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
