I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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