There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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