forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
