I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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