somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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