I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
