Its about making memories worth repressing
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
