I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
