Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
