it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
