Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is it because I queefed?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
