I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
