haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
