The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
