He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
