haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
