I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
