and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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