maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
