It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
