Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
