My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Im part way to drunk.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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