Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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