What a fucking waste of an outfit
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
